“That depends on what your definition of the word ‘is’ is.” When Bill Clinton used those words to answer a question about Lewinskigate I thought it was absurd that anyone would question the meaning of a word in a legal proceeding, but now I see that many simple definitions are often misunderstood by large portions of the population.

It seems the Christian-right misunderstands the word “Theory”. They confuse it with hypothesis. Intelligent Design was a failed hypothesis. It can not advance to theory. To become a theory, a hypothesis must have verifiable emperical data to support its claims. ID can’t be referred to as a theory.

I only bring up the preceding because a federal appeals panel has decided that stickers reading: “This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered.” are completely acceptable in science texbooks.

I have to admit that by the strict definition of the word, the judges are correct in their ruling. What worries me though is that in other districts where similar debates about creationism versus evolution rage, creationist proponents suggest students view another book that preaches ID as the explanation for the origin of life.

Considering the current ruling I think it’s only appropriate that a group print up some stickers for the ID books that read: “This book contains material on creationism. Creationism is not a theory, it is a failed hypothesis as it lacks scientific evidence. This material should be viewed critically and evaluated using the scientific method.”

…And to respond to those of you who wrote me regarding The War On The War On Christmas, my issue’s not with Christianity, it’s with stupidity. The Church of Christianity is merely the largest domestic branch of the larger Church of Stupidity.

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By now you’re surely aware of the coalition that’s been formed by various christian organizations to get big-name companies to drop the “Happy Holidays” slogan and replace it with the christian-centric “Merry Christmas”.

On behalf of all non-christians everywhere, I’d like to propose a compromise. The Christians can have their wish and everyone will wish everyone a merry Christmas, people of non-christian faiths will just have to learn to deal wtih not being able to express their holiday wishes…. You Christians have to give something up too though. You’ve gotta return all of the pagan symbolism from the holiday to the pagan community. You’re to give up the following parts of your holiday: The tree, the wreaths, the mistletoe, the presents, SANTA CLAUS, elves, reindeer, door-to-door singing, egg-nog, the yule log, frosty the snowman, and anything that doesn’t have to do with Christ’s birth as that’s what YOU’re celebrating. All the rest of the stuff is associated with other religions’ holidays, and if you’re not willing to recognize these holidays, it’s hardly appropriate for you to celebrate them.

Some will argue that this is a free speech issue, but there are no laws in place that require companies to say phrases like: happy holidays. These are coporate policies put in place to appeal to as broad of a group of possible consumers as possible. Forcing a company to change its policies to reflect the christian agenda only serves to alienate segments of the population, and this is poor business in any line of work, but specifically one that’s driven by sales over the gift-giving season.

Jesus was a homosexual Jew with a foot-fetish. So if you Christians really want to honor your lord and savior, spin the dradle and give a bunch of men foot-massages.

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