As a professional pothead and amateur philospher, I often ponder the deeper things in life. Since I’m a man first, a pothead second, and a philosopher third, my thoughts usually drift from a naked Jessica Alba to a naked Jessica Alba offering me a joint, to sex with Jessica Alba while smoking said joint, to realizing that the only thing real about the whole scenario is my erection… Then I start wondering what’s real and what’s not and start asking “what if” questions, and the next thing I know I’m back on top of Jessica Alba, except this time we’re in the oval office and I’m wearing a sash that reads “El Presidente Supreme of Earth” (thanks, Tony).

This country is as divided as it’s ever been, and those in power wish to make it seem as if the divisions are cultural. It’s clear though that the real divides are economic, and there’s not a lot of difference between the latino making $18k a year, the black guy making $20k and year and the white guy making $22k a year when you compare all of them to the millionaires who pay them… So remember brothers, brothas, hermanos, 99% of us are on the same side, we’re all getting fucked by the same 1%… Rage appropriately.

Chronic's Perspective | No Comments »

The Red Bull Flugtag visited Tempe today. “FLUGTAG!” Was the good word here all day! I was in attendance for the event at Tempe Town Lake, and I must say it was great! I had a lot of fun watching drunk ppl dance and jump off a big ass ramp thingy! It was awesome! All I could bring myself to say all day was FLUGTAG! As loud as I could, and be cheered on by fellow Fluggers as I dubbed them. Of course alcohol was in abundance and there was even some Marley and peace pipe passing involved! All and all it was a great experience and I hope it comes back soon so I can enter! The mighty flying cannabis will rule all!

FLUGTAG RULES! WOOOOOOO!

Written by Cannabis John

Society | No Comments »

So as I sit here researching something for one of my “weekend warrior” classes coming up I couldn’t help but notice what was on the TV. “Do you realize your teen is not safe on myspace. The things they post or do on Myspace can come back to HAUNT THEM FOREVER. Here is how to protect your teen on myspace”.

Ok. There are alot of online communities that are like myspace. Xanga, great journal, face book, dead journal, live journal. Let’s not leave out hot or not. They have ground rules on these site. Don’t put any personal information (as in address Numbers etc). I look around this site and I see people posting their phone number up. Ok so do you want some random person to call you that is not the person it was intended to? Why not go ahead and post your address up as well?

Be careful of what you post. I would think it would be common sense but I guess it is not. Whether it be a picture or a blog.

And what is funny is cops do search these sites which is fucked up. So basically really becareful of what you do put up and post on these sites.
==============================
Now for the flip side of the coin

Now this site is fucking huge. You will occasionally get the creepy old guy. The person who poses as a 18 or under person. Now these are the fuckers I can not stand. Since being there is no way of actual I.D. then basically you could go on and do that. I mean look a 14 that is 99 an 18 that is 44 and so on and so forth. You can easily change your age. So now these fuckers change their age to prey on youth.

So…The teenagers need to pull their heads out of their collective asses and realize this is the internet and outside of the internet is reality. If you do not know the person you might want to leave it on HERE and not go outside of the internet. Because it could be bad.
====================
So basically if you smoke pot like we all do and you post a picture of you smoking pot up on the web it will haunt you.

If you say “well today at work my boss is a fucking prick and I wanted to say go fuck yourself” it will haunt you.

Or “MagicMan” is an 18 boy from Georgia when actually he is a 43 year old pedo from Georgia
======
They had/have the same problem with instant messengers and now they are going after myspace. It is as simple as this either a) dont let your teen online or b) restrict certain pages or c) if they are not bright don’t let them online.

Written by Steven Mids

Society | No Comments »

Society seems to have a misconception about “drug users”. They have been convinced that it is a terrible thing to smoke pot or do the occasional hit of acid. They have even come up with ways to tell if someone is a “druggy”. I have acquired such a list of tell tale signs and will now attempt to give the real reasons why some of these things happen.

Signs in the Home

disappearance of valuable items or money

Real reason: It is not that the person who is using is necessarily stealing the money. It could be that while they were smoking pot you ended up with a contact high and forgot where you put it. One should not be so quick to lay blame on the calm, peaceful pothead.

loss of interest in family activities

Real Reason: Okay, seriously, who has a serious interest in spending loads of time with their family? I certainly don’t and never have. It doesn’t mean that you are doing drugs. I lost interest when I was a teenager as do many people. It’s growing up and becoming embarrassed because you realize your parents aren’t quite as cool as they once seemed. Again, nothing to do with drugs.

disrespect for family rules

Real Reason: If you are a teenager, you don’t have respect for family rules anyway. You don’t completely understand the rules and are fighting for your independence from your parents. Has nothing to do with drugs. If you are an adult, why do you have to have respect for these rules anyway? You don’t live there anymore. It is not because of the drugs.

withdrawal from responsibilities

Real Reason: Everyone does that once in a while. As humans we grow tired every now and then of our responsibilities and want to go out and have fun. It doesn’t mean that you are on drugs, it just means that you want to try and enjoy life. Not the drugs.

verbally or physically abusive

Real Reason: This I completely disagree with. I have not known any pothead that has become abusive while smoking. In fact, because they are in such deep thought, they usually don’t move from the couch for a while, unless inspired to do something creative such as make an awe inspiring meal, paint, write, make music, etc. Not the drugs.

sudden increase or decrease in appetite

Real Reason: Two words, eating disorder. Nothing to do with drugs.

not coming home on time

Real Reason: If you’re a teenager, it’s bound to happen quite a bit, with or without the drugs. Plus, some people are just naturally late. This has nothing to do with drugs, in fact, most people I have known that did drugs were generally early arriving places.

constant excuses for behavior

Real Reason: Who doesn’t have constant excuses for their behavior? Being human causes you to defend yourself while being asked multiple times why you did something. There is no way in hell that this could be a sign of drug use.

spending a lot of time in their rooms

Real Reason: Um, yeah. If you are a teenager you find every excuse possible to escape the embarrassment of hanging out with your parents. If you are an adult and hiding in your room, you either have a member of the opposite sex in there with you, you’re tired, or you’re depressed. Still, not a drug thing.

lies about activities

Real Reason: Who doesn’t? Being human causes you to lie. If you are a teenager, you are going to lie to your parents about that party you snuck out of the house to go hang out at because your parents did not want you there. Not because you are on drugs. If you are an adult, maybe you were supposed to meet someone and forgot about it. Not a sign of being on drugs.

finding the following: cigarette rolling papers, pipes, roach clips, small glass vials, plastic baggies, remnants of drugs (seeds, etc.)

Real Reason: Okay, now if you have rolling papers, maybe you are a smoker and realized the cheapest way to smoke cigarettes is to roll your own. Could that be possible? Pipes? Maybe you are just being prepared in case you run out of papers. Roach clips are for those cigarettes, of course. Small glass vials? You are studying to become a botanist and are collecting samples to analyze further. Plastic baggies? Seriously, who does not walk around with those anymore? Maybe you keep it to save a snack if you don’t finish it. Plastic baggies are not the sign of a druggy. Now if you ARE caught with remnants, then I can’t help you. You have been using and you’re caught. Don’t use the “it’s my friends”, “it’s not mine, I don’t know how it got in there”, or just “I don’t know” excuses. They don’t work. Own up to it. Be proud of your pot smoking.

Physical and Emotional Signs

changes friends

Real Reason: Everyone changes friends. If you hung out with the laid back, druggy looking kids and then all of a sudden changed to hanging out with the football players and cheerleaders would people be concerned? Of course not. People change friends. It’s not because of drugs that you choose to hang out with someone, it’s because you find them interesting.

smell of alcohol or marijuana on breath or body

Real Reason: Yeah, again, can’t help you. Try and cover up the smell a little bit better.

unexplainable mood swings and behavior

Real Reason: Everyone’s mood changes. A woman’s can change at that certain time of the month, does it mean she is on drugs, no, it means her hormone levels are changing. Has nothing not do with drugs.

negative, argumentative, paranoid or confused, destructive, anxious

Real Reason: I guess they are saying that no one can be these unless they are on drugs. I haven’t done drugs in a long time, yet I find myself rather negative, argumentative, paranoid, confused, (definitely) destructive, and anxious depending on the situation I am in. It does not mean I am on drugs.

over-reacts to criticism acts rebellious

Real Reason: A lot of people can’t deal with criticism well. It doesn’t mean that every person that is over reacting to criticism is a pot smoker. In fact, most of the pot smokers I know appreciate good and well placed criticism. As for being rebellious, maybe it’s just that they don’t agree with you or what they are rebelling against.

doesn’t seem as happy as they used to be

Real Reason: Ever think that maybe they don’t want to burden you with their problems? Or maybe they are trying to figure something out by themselves? Maybe they could just be depressed. Accusing them of drug abuse will only further the lack of communication problem, because then you are judging.

overly tired or hyperactive

Real Reason: Yup, because you had a lot of caffeine or lack of sleep, you MUST be on drugs.

drastic weight loss or gain

Real Reason: Again, could be an eating disorder or it could be a health problem. You never know.

unhappy and depressed

Real Reason: Yes, all people that are sad and depressed must be on drugs. They can’t, maybe, be having a rough time or anything. If you are sober and get dumped by your significant other you have no reason to be depressed. You are ALWAYS happy. But if you are on drugs, people will know. You will get depressed and that is an obvious sign that someone is on drugs.

always needs money, or has excessive amounts of money

Real Reason: So, if you are extremely poor or extremely rich, you must be a druggy? Gotcha, all poor people and all rich people= bad druggy people.

sloppiness in appearance

Real reason: You woke up late and didn’t have time to get ready. You didn’t feel like getting dressed up. The pot smokers I know are better dressed than the non pot smokers. This is total crap.

Written by Miko Hamano

Society | No Comments »

The People Under The Stairs…one of (in my opinion) the few hip hop groups left out there constantly beat mining and sampling old soul and making it even more soulful than it was before. I’ve been into these cats since I heard their album “Question In The Form of An Answer” and I’ve scooped up every 12″ and LP ever since. ALWAYS high quality work out of Double K and Thes One.

Good luck finding a sample on these records that you’re gonna recognize though, as these cats pull samples from every aspect of music from every era and then tweak the shit out of it, either slowing it down, stretching it out, whatever. Add the tasty word play between the two and you’ve got an album that is truly gas-mask worthy.

The thing I enjoy the best about Thes One and Double K are their completely candid lyrics. No bling, no money, no fucking crazy amounts of women, just tracks about house parties with the homeboys, gettin drunk and passing out, barbecuing, and searchin LA for the best home grown food.

Stand out tracks: “Step In”, “Flex Off”, “Jamboree Pt1.” and “Pt. 2″, and “Eat Street”.

This album is easily 2006’s Summer Album. Don’t download it. Buy it and share it and turn your friends onto these cats. Since 2002, I’ve gotten all my friends excited about new People Under the Stairs music and this album is far exceeding expectations. Hasn’t left my stereo since Friday. It’s Wednesday now.

On a scale between “Spliffariffic” and “Gasmasktastic”…this one gets a 6 Foot Bubbler Rating. The shit is mad tasty on the ears.

Written by Bucho

Music w/ DJ Bucho | No Comments »

Music: The Most Unspoken of Addictions. Yeah, that’s right. Have you ever thought about it? How many CD’s do you own?

Before that, how many tapes did you own? And for you kiddies, how many old school vinyl records do your parents have?

And this one goes out to our fearless founder. How many gigs of music do you have on your hard drive… Chronic?

A fuck-ton, right? Sure, there are a few people who may not be so hip as to have a 24 hour no-repeat playlist on their I-Tunes. And some people may not be big into music, but for the most part (especially amongst us potheads) it is beyond addiction.

I first realized this as I was listening to the local alternative radio station in my car. (Now I don’t exactly have a “bangin’ stereo” in my “ride”, but I did drop a grand into car audio a couple years back, so the shit can get loud, if you know what I mean.) So I am driving along and on comes Tool: Stinkfist; one of my favorite songs, so I cranked that shit up. LOUD. I was cruising and jamming out, and then it dawned on me..

My ears hurt. I never really noticed it before, but the were getting sore. So I turned down the volume just a tad. No more soreness. But then something strange happened. I had this urge to turn it back up and hurt anyway. Why was this? Well, I have done a LOT of drugs in my short life thus far, and I know withdrawal when I feel it.

And then it hit me. I am fucking addicted to music. If it is good music, and I dig it, not only do I have to have the CD, but when I do, or I when I hear the song on the radio, I have to play that shit as loud as fucking possible. So do most people (and potheads) I know.

Not only that, but buying music can be addicting. I have bought every Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Peppers album ever pressed. Why? Because I started buying them in high school, and now, when the fuckers put out an album, I have to buy it, or else I will no longer have “every album” of theirs. Shit, I don’t even know that I like most of their new shit

I had a roommate I had to kick out of the house because he would spend $150 per week on CD’s, even when he was two months behind on rent. ADDICTION. (And you know at $15 a pop, $150 isn’t hard to hit on a good day of CD shopping.)

And of course everyone knows this, but never talks about it. That is why so many artists have freaked the fuck out about the onset of the “music download age”. The whole music industry is based upon the human music addiction, just as the alcohol industry is reliant upon alcoholism.

Now that doesn’t mean that the old Hashmander is going to kick his music habit soon, but I may try and keep the volume down a tad. No point in being a music addict if you’ve made yourself deaf, ya know? But it is good to be aware of the other “drugs” out there. Especially when your “drug” of choice gets you thrown in jail..

So. Go out tonight, pack a bowl, roll a joint, and pick you favorite CD / Record / MP3, and turn that shit up my stoner brethren. Just make sure you don’t blow out your eardrums. ‘Cause if you do that, you’ll miss the most important sound of all.

Your buddy on your right hand side saying, “‘ear..”

Written by Hashmander

Rants | No Comments »

An angry Luke Walters has demanded I post a retraction. It turns out I am in fact “The Raddest Man On Earth”… Luke however claims the title of “Raddest Person Alive”.

Aweradular, for those who don’t know is “awesome + rad + tubular” aweradularation is the state of being aweradular.

Chronic's Perspective | No Comments »

Chronic's Perspective | No Comments »

Alice in Austin Beauty

Visions of a weekend

and long sunny hair.

A reminder of how you and I are

an exercise in futility.

Humility has set in

and cockiness has been humbled.

Though I may stumble,

I haven’t fallen down the rabbit’s hole.

I dream about her though,

I wish I could forget her…

but I can’t.

She is my Fountain of Youth

and I am Pizzaro.

Alexandre
The Jesus Christ of Space Funk
and Leader of the Revolution

Written by Alexandre

Poetry | No Comments »

i sincerely apologize
for the things i will write
just trying to help what’s inside

i’ve got this bigot in my head
it was placed there with religion
and it sustains through politics

those without demons
and those who know how to please them
powers of either
and those who may be the reader
unlike any else
hypocrites are as cold as hell

sorry now for what i might say
it’s in what i see everyday
never meant it to be this way

i’ve got this bigot in my head
creeping my thoughts to illiberal
and it’s accepted in our world

unable to see
i would be the one to unsheath
what you find forlorn
ironically double-edged swords
unlike any else
hypocrites are as cold as hell…

Written by Mr./Mrs. Whorely

Poetry, Uncategorized | No Comments »

So there I am, smoking a bowl and reflecting on life… The deeper questions, the important stuff like: How much longer must this 80s revival last before we get into the 90s revival? I don’t know how much more goth-synth-rock I can take… I wanna tell these kids to just slit their wrists already. She’s fucking someone else… she’s probably fucking 3-4 someone elses. You’re 18 years old, it’s not the end of the fucking world, but if it’ll ensure that you stop whining, here’s a razor-blade. Remember kids, go along the vein, not across it.

While some of these true 80s heros might be missed, the vast majority of the decade was crap and should be forgotten about as soon as possible. From Family ties to Golden Girls to My Two Dads the decade seemed to deteriorate into depths of shittiness previously unknown to man. Some say our savior came in the form of a heroin addict from Seattle, but we can’t be certain, it could have been any number of depressed rockers from any number of cities that finally ended the horrible downward spiral that was the 80s the first time around… I just can’t wait for it to end the second time around.

Chronic's Perspective | No Comments »

Mechanical Wretch

Robots marching to the beat

of a drum, fixing what they

think is obsolete or broken.

They feel the pressure that

they’re under the gun;

ignoring all logic,

the march to the beat

of a drum.

The beat of a drum…

The beat of a drum…

whoring our progress,

they march to the beat of a drum.

Sun light quenching, gunfight mentioning

on CBS news, with Connie Chung’s

hands clenching. Ten more lynchings,

money grubbers pinching profits

of the year while our souls cringing.

Robots marching to the beat

of a drum, fixing what they

think is obsolete or broken.

They feel the pressure that

they’re under the gun;

ignoring all logic,

they march to the beat

of a drum.

The beat of a drum…

The Beat of a drum…

whoring all progress,

they march to the beat of a drum.

Insides Outside, something’s not right,

Chaos’ light is burning too bright.

Twelve round fistfights,

lowblows and earbites;

are encouraged so both teams cheat,

and the crowd has a good night.

Robots marching to the beat

of a drum, fixing what they

think is obsolete or broke.

The feel the pressure that

they’re under the gun;

ignoring all logic

they march to the beat

of a drum.

The beat of a drum…

The Beat of a drum…

whoring our progress,

they march to the beat

of a drum.

Alexandre
The Jesus Christ of Space Funk
and Leader of the Revolution

Written by Alexandre

Poetry | No Comments »

So, after doing some talking to people recently, I have found ways to detect if people are lying to you. And because this is Askapothead, I figured that you readers would very much like to know some techniques that the police use to detect if you are lying to them.

Topic: Body Language

1. When someone is lying to you, they tend to pull into themselves physically. They will draw their arms close to their bodies and pull their feet in. They tend not to move much so as not to attract attention to themselves. Which means, if you are talking to someone and they curl up into a ball and don’t move, they are lying to you.

2. An obvious one, yes, but when a person is lying to you, they refuse to make eye contact. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case, as I have known very truthful individuals that cannot keep eye contact. If the person you are talking to is shy, they might be just that and not lying.

3. If they continuesly are touching their face as they talk, it’s a good sign they are lying. They subconsciously are trying to hide their lies from view. Of course, if you’re tripping, tweaking or stoned, you do that anyways. 4. Their gestures or expressions don’t match the statement. “I have only had one beer tonight ociffer.” and then holding up four fingers and shaking your head is a good indication you’re lying.

5. Their facial expressions are confined to the mouth. If they say they’re happy and they are smiling but their eyes say they hate you, good indication they are lying.

6. An innocent person will often go on the offensive while a guilty person will take defense…..kind of like football. If you ask a question and suddenly the person you are talking to attempts to give you every reason they are correct and you are not, VERY good indication they are lying. Subconsciously they are trying to divert your attention from your question.

7. If you sit and have a discussion with a liar you will notice that they will attempt to place objects between the both of you to block your view. Say you’re drinking coffee with your girlfriend and you ask her what she was doing the night before. If she tells you a story about sitting at home and watching a movie, but is over detailing and slowly moving objects in between the both of you, you should probably realize she was out with that tall dark and handsome guy she refuses to talk with you about.

Topic: Verbally

1. A liar will use your words to answer the question. You– “Did you smoke all the pot?” Liar– “No, I did not smoke all the pot.” Obvious liar.

2. If they say “I did not do it” instead of “I didn’t do it.” They are a LIAR! Why? Because they are attempting to make an impact with the statement instead of feeling relaxed and confident. Yeah, that’s right. All of you who don’t use contractions(not that kind dorks) are liars.

3. As I said, the liar may speak more, adding a bunch of details to convince you they are speaking honestly. “Yeah, I stayed at home and watched a movie and ate popcorn, but I burned it and it smelled really bad. And then I finally sat down and my sister called and I talked to her for twenty minutes. And then I sat back down and turned on the movie, but got bored”….etc.

How to Catch a Liar

If you think someone is lying, change subjects quickly and often. If the person is telling the truth they will want to continue the discussion, if they are lying, they will be more than willing to take an out in the discussion. An honest person will become confused at the change in topic, but a liar will become much more relaxed.

So there it is boys and girls. A few of the secrets at catching a liar. And a few tips to those regular liars. Have fun with the information I give you and do not abuse it too much. Actually, please do, it’s more fun that way.

Written by Miko Hamano

Society | No Comments »

There’s only one big downfall in running this site, and that is in having a very public e-mail address. I’ve been signed up for mailers from just about every major company of which you’ve ever heard and several of which you’ve never heard… The newest type of spam that has started filling my inbox is from a Russian mail-order bride service.

Did you get stuck with a lemon last time? Won’t happen with us, you can be assured that there was at least one test drive performed with each model we offer!…. alright, so the idea needs work, but this is the shit that goes through the mind of a bored Chronic on a Sunday afternoon when there’s nothing to do.

Chronic's Perspective | No Comments »

So I saw Silent Hill, bet many of you didnt know it was a video game first! I never played the game though my roommate did so he tells me. Both of us left the theatre pretty happy with what we saw too, though a little confused. Rose (Radha Mitchell) is the mother of a young girl (Sharon; Jodelle Ferland) who suffers from sleepwalking nightmares. Their doctor suggests to them psychiatric help for the girl but Rose is determined to find the reason for the girls weird memories by taking her to the town the girl talks about while sleep walking. Once they get to the town the girl is lost and Rose sets off to find her, and runs into some pretty crazy obstacles all while slowly reviling a terrible secret about the town. With plenty of plot twists and lots of action and none stop suspense Silent Hill is a movie that anyone who hasnt played the game can enjoy, while also catering to the people who played the game with game style music cuts from the original game!). Very well done all around on this one, and the best video game to movie yet!(by far)

9.5 of 10 joints

Written by Cannabis John

Pothead Movies and TV | No Comments »