I make predictions every day, but today I’m going to lay out a series of ridiculous “prophecies” just for the sake of doing so. Some will seem relatively logical predictions, and others will seem incredibly far-fetched. Discuss them at the new askapothead.com forums!
-Rudy Giuliani will be the next president of the US. (I’m not voting for him.)
-The instituions of Christianity and Islam will both essentially collapse. (Since people still feel “a need to believe” a new religion that’s a hybrid of ancient mythology, eovolution and alien-interaction will become the dominant religion of the western world in the next 50-100 years. *maybe a spin-off of scientology, but not the current church of scientology*)
-By the year 2050 everyone will grow most of their own vegetables at home. (people will abandon big city life almost all together instead favoring a suburban model. Big cities will become basically corporate-controlled, corporate-owned dormitories, factories and offices for mega-business)
-2/3 of the earth’s population will die in the next 100 years. (mostly in asia)
-Bottled water will cost $3 a gallon by 2015.
-Ashton Kutcher will die choking on something while laughing at one of his own jokes.
-Stationary bikes and tread-mills will power homes of the future.
-Nothing globally significant will happen on december 21, 2012.
-South Park will become the longest running show in television history. (with the exceptions of those shows that just replace hosts every 30 years.)
-In the post WWIII world, Brazil (which will occupy all of south america) and the US are the two super-powers with Brazil actually being the stronger of the two.
-Eminem will become a politician (his “ghetto accent” will suddenly disappear)
-Barack Obama will be the first black man elected president in 2016 or 2020. (He’ll be assassinated by wack-job KKK-types)
-The current pope will get caught gambling and drinking and fornicating.
OK that was fun.
Do I buy into my own crazy theories? Not really.
Will I explain how I came to these conclusions? If you ask and I remember the train of thought.